lots of vacation

Well, I've enjoyed my vacations. Last week I only had a three day week, and this week I have a three day week as well. It's definitely devine. I just relaxed and let go. Gabe and I went to the park and basked in the sun. I got sunburn. Everything's returning to the way it was before winter so rudely interrupted. Frankly, I think I've changed my mind about winter, I've fallen out of love. Spring is now my new object of affection.

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writing

Here's an essay I wrote for my final on Macbeth in British Literature. It's a bit weird, not my best work... but there it is.

While reading “Ridding Ourselves of Macbeth” by Lisa Low two things come to mind, the struggle between good and evil in every individual and how that struggle either isolates us or unites us as a people. This contest is not an easy one, it is something that most everyone battles with and most everyone wins in one way or another. The realization that we all face this should unite us. Failing to realize this causes disconnection and eventually destruction. In Macbeth Shakespeare tells us that we are all merely players, but he does not mention that there are other players on the stage with us, simultaneously fretting and strutting. Like Macbeth we either never have this epiphany or we too often forget it. These existential themes throughout the play entice us and instigate introspection.
Every cognizant being on Earth will eventually come to a point in time when they will want to evaluate their life. They will most likely weigh in by adding up the evil and good they have perpetuated. We enjoy Macbeth because the characters are constantly evaluating themselves, like us they have the deeply human desire to know their standing with a higher power. We get to watch these characters carry out or fight their evil tendencies. We identify with this play because we have felt every passion that is portrayed, we are breathless and shocked as we see the consequences of unbridled emotions and we are insidiously intrigued.
Macbeth was torn and confined after the murder of Duncan, it seems that he forgot that many had probably planned or thought about the King’s death before him. He forgot that his own wife was an accomplice and has a share of the guilt. His disgust for himself and his carnality caused him to inflict mental isolation upon himself. Because he saw himself as perverse he could not fully relate to his subjects, in his mind they were so innocent and virtuous compared to himself that they could not possibly relate to him. He places himself in a community of one, one traitorous murderer of a sovereign. We do this to ourselves as well, we think that no one else can possibly relate to us, we think that our troubles are unique and rare. But when we take a peek outside of our own emotions we see that “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation,” as Thoreau would say. Although we will not have the same magnitude of guilt that Macbeth experienced we struggle in loneliness like he did, seeing others desperation makes us aware of our own and draws us in.
Macduff sees his own struggle with evil and by his conversation with Malcolm in Act IV, Scene 3 we see that he also understands others’ struggles. His thoughts are not so preoccupied with himself, he has enough insight to know that a nation of people deserves to be governed by a just person. He sees that Malcolm is not a perfect being but he is still more fit than Macbeth to rule Scotland. Through his realization of his struggle and the struggle of others’ Macduff is able to draw a clear line between good and evil, he knows that none of Macbeth’s actions were justifiable. Like Macduff we feel connected and strong when we can relate with one another. When we stop stratifying ourselves spiritually we come to the conclusion that we are all on the same basic level, taming the same beast inside us all. Coming to this conclusion comforts us.
Macbeth entrances us with its existential themes, it delights us with its unrestrained morbidity and its brooding taboo. We are drawn in by Macbeth’s wrestling match between himself and his emotions, we can relate to the passions of Macduff and Malcolm. This is not only the tragedy of Macbeth, it is so often the tragedy of humanity.

My room is a disaster area... I'm going to gut it out tomorrow and try to set up my bed like I should have done for 18 months now. Oh well, I am so glad that it is the weekend, I'm going to have a nice dinner and then take a nap and then go hang out and be nocturnal. Yay!

haxxor

Well, I cut my hair again, just the bangs though. I got sick of my hair last night and took the scissors to it. I also finished my paper on Halo 3. The other day in english our teacher let us have a Halo 3 party and then he asked us to write an essay or something about what we saw there...
So I'm gonna put what I wrote here on the blog... don't be too critical of it, my writing and thinking is scattered and I know there might be some punctuation flaws but this is what I have...

Video Games


Halo in all its forms is definitely one of the most popular games of our generation and like any other fad it has exploded onto the scene. Ever since its first year flocks of adolescent boys have been organizing all night Halo parties full of blood shot eyes and littered with empty Rockstar cans. As the brave soldiers struggle to beat down, dominate, and own The Covenant they can relax on the couch in their undies. Amidst all the hemorrhaging alien bodies there is a charming sci-fi story to go along which is perhaps the game’s only redeeming grace, at least it gives some reason for the virtual carnage. In direct proportion to the height of your stack of carnage is your playing level, there is nothing as cool as playing a level 50 and nothing more honorable than using it as a status symbol.
As I observed some people playing Halo 3 I realized there are many different types of gamers. At one end of the spectrum we have the blank-faced catatonic droolers where the only movements are in the thumbs, at the other end we have the red-faced apoplectic bellowers where activity is everywhere but the brain. Most of the gamers I observed would be placed somewhere in the central area of the spectrum. While some were staring at the screen in a blood fueled stupor, others where shouting death threats at the enemy. The players feel no remorse as they pump lead into the inhuman suits of their opponents, besides it doesn’t really count since they respawn in seconds anyway.
While I could write all day and poke fun or point out all the flaws of this game I think I will just get to the point. Video games in general are slowly ruining our already faulty and declining culture. Video games are not the only cause, but they are a contributor that needs to be recognized. These games are very controversial, like all our other forms of media they display horrific violence, unrealistic sexual norms, and blatant disregard for social values. Even the most die-hard fan would have trouble explaining just how running over a prostitute with a golf cart in Grand Theft Auto is any real contribution to society.
Some claim that video games are an outlet for pent up aggression, but studies have shown that catharsis only breeds more hostility and aggression. In fact the one form of catharsis that caused more hostility than any other form- such as books and movies- was video games. Video games desensitize us and make us more prone to violence. I am not going to insinuate that all those who play video games are bound to go ape and shoot up the school, I am just saying that while they play the games they are more likely to have heightened hostility and more aggressive thoughts.
We as humans are prone to violence in general and we will always find a way to express that side of ourselves. So what am I complaining about? Video games do embody stupidity but don’t they also reflect humanity? Sadly, there will always be some haxxor out there looking to pwn some noob.

Snowy Day

Haven't blogged in a while. Not much has happened. I've been very busy with school and life and piano. I went outside and enjoyed the sunny weather yesterday. The funny thing is that I was out for about an hour and I got sunburn on my cheeks. It wasn't too bad, but it was just enough to remind me why I hate summer. I was disappointed when it started to snow today, I was hoping it would stay beautiful. Oh well, at least there's no sunburn for fair people when it snows. I've really been enjoying my Effective Writing class, very inspiring.

Here's a little something, something I wrote the other day...

Yesterday's weather was sunny, the light reached the dark and the permeating heat thawed the ice. The thawing ice caused delicate tinkling sounds as the drops splashed into the pools of waiting water, enveloping the drops and causing ripples of distraction. The weather was beautiful when the sun kissed the snow.