Here are a few Mad Libs that Arden and I have done that we think should be shared.

PIRATES AND SEA MONSTERS

It was a warmongering night, with fog so in utero, you could barely see your blood stain in front of your scorched roll. The only sound was the groan of the tired magnet and the soft wind, which seemed to whisper "Offer... offer." Suddenly, tennis rackets shot out of the ocean like water bottles on the Fourth of July. Bang! Pow! They grabbed for oil wells to bring down to the bottom of the sea- to Davy Jones's Locker. The dreaded computer monster, Arden, was as big as a giant table cloth and it smelled like rotting Martinelli's. I hid inside a proton and fitted as the monster sucked the nostril right off one of my shipmates! I was scared out of my bucket, and my clavicle almost stopped beating! But, lucky for you, I escaped with my tedium and lived to tell the relentless tale!


MORE GREAT EXCUSES FOR TARDINESS

Dear Principal,
I am sorry to have to tell you that my snappy son Gabriel will be unable to attend your annoying school this week as he has caught a case of the Wookie pox. The bloody brilliant doctor says that it will be 1,022 weeks before he is healthy and back on his cuticles again.

Dear Math Teacher,
I was driving Rebecca to school when the blemishes failed and my car crashed into dish water. By the time the tow narrator finally arrived and the womanish mechanic relieved the expiration and recharged the quark, we had missed your resonant class.

WHEN I GROW UP

Now that I've graduated from grade 13, I'm going to start slapping more often. After all, I'm practically a dragon! Since I want to be just like Donald Trump, I better start washing as sporadically as possible. I think this summer I'm going to get a part time job as a toll booth attendant, or a slurpee machine repairman. That will teach me how to be disturbing and maybe I'll even make 500 dollars! Then I can put all my money in McDonald's and collect pictures. When I retire at age 20, I'll be a slug. Maybe I'll even get to live on the beach in the zoo, buy expensive constellations, and drive a fancy tadpole. Wouldn't that be ticklish? I'd better start annoying right away!